Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Back to Front

"All the stories we've been told of kings and days of old, but there's no England now." Never have the words from The Kinks "Living on a Thin Line" been truer for Ray Davies, whose new CD "Other People's Lives" hit the market last week.

The legendary Brit Rocker has done something he rarely does in his work: he's taken it on the road, away from London. Sure, many Kinks songs are about traveling and life on the road, but most of the time the band is lost somewhere over the pond. One of the amazing things about the Kinks has been Ray's ability to touch an american heart with a British tale. I can picture places like Waterloo, Willsden Green, Muswell Hills, Berkely Mews and hundreds of foreign places just like that mentioned in the cannon of Kinks Geography.

"Other People's Lives" is different. It's about not being at home. It's about being in America. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a John Cougar Melloncamp album, but rather it is a look inside the fish tank from a fish who has just gotten the net. Much of the CD appears to have been inspired from the time, pre-hurricane, that Ray spent in New Orleans and his recovery from a gunshot wound he received there. Ray has never been so optimistic as to claim immortality or a long happy existence, and this collection will not dissapoint.

The fact is, Mr. Davies, for more years then my lifetime, has been doing one thing better then anyone else: writing thoughtful, wonderful, fantastic tunes. This CD is no different. He takes us on a journey with him and lets us sit back and enjoy the sometimes bumpy, sometimes joyous, but always worthwhile ride. If you are not a Kinks/Davies fan and claim not to "get it", you still won't, but for those of us who do, it is necter from the rock and roll gods.
"You sing 'em the blues and then they ask for a happy tune
And when you start to smile,
they'll say gimme dat rhythm and blues,
And when you give 'em dat rhythm and blues they'll simply smile and say
We didn't want to hear you play,
we didn't like you any way.
It's very hard to please the people every single time,
But look a little on the sunny side."
("Look a Little on the Sunny Side"...The Kinks)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fire in the hole!


Okay...you're just not gonna believe this one. I have many things to write about regarding happenings over the last week and a half or so, but this one just could not wait.

I am in Las Cruces, New Mexico right now staying at the cities finiest hotel: the Hilton. Really. It's a nice hotel. I am at a relentlessly tedious conference on assessment and retention (more on that on another day). Anyway, I am down here in my room doing some work and I hear a gurggling noise from within the bathroom. Don't worry Spidey-friends, this is not one of those, guess what's crawling in Dan's bathtub stories.

No...as a matter of fact, I go to check it out and it seems there is some soap suds that have travelled up the drain. Not a whole bunch of suds, but rather a small amount. Hardly noticable. So, not thinking any thing of it, I decide while I am there to use the restroom. Now, without going into great detail, I am a guy and I was standing up, if you get my meaning. I flush the toilet, the water goes down as usual, no problems. Then, as I am washing my hands, I hear the noise again. Interesting, thinks I. Then it happens. All of a sudden, the noise takes on physical manifestation in the form of water shooting straight out of the toilet and into the air! Not only that (and no...the story has no disgusting ending), it's shooting up suds of foamy soap (thank goodness). The tank fills up with suds and overflows like on a sitcom where somebody doesn't know how to use a washing machine. The bathroom is full of suds, but the water finally stops. I call maintenence and they head right over and tell me, "I think there might be something wrong with your toilet, sir". While he is here, he get's a few calls from other people on the floor who are experiencing the same type of problem.

Terrorists?!?

Monday, February 20, 2006

In the time of Chimpanzees I was a monkey.


Ok-dokey friends. It looks like we will not all be quitting our jobs today. I just got back to Scottsdale a little lighter in the wallet (but somehow still heavier in the pants...weird). I'm still wearing my shirt which is good, but I'm feeling like it needs to be washed (if you know what I mean).

Since everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I will not reveal to you the moment by moment recap of the visit, but I will say we had some fun, even though I lost some dough.

Tomorrow it's back to Roswell for me, but for only a day. Wednesday I head on out to Las Cruces for a conference on retention and assessment (doesn't that just sound thrilling?). At least I can't lose any money there!

So until next time my loves, here's wishing you grape juice nights and spaghetti-o days.

Friday, February 17, 2006

A funny thing happened on the way to Scottsdale

Sorry no picture today. I am posting from location and slave to the tech available.

But anyway...Many of you know that I do alot of driving. I drive all over the place. Often, when driving any great distance, you have to expect coming across certain things that are going to hold you up: the unfortunite occurances of rush hour traffic when going through major cities, the occasional 30 car pile up that holds you up for a few hours, a truck full of milk collides with a truck full of chickens...whatever. It's bound to happen to you sooner or later.

This time was a new one on me. I was driving past Alamogordo, New Mexico when I got flagged down and was made to get in a huge line of cars. I had already passed an immigration check point earlier, so I couldn't figure out why I was stopped. I got out and asked the guard that had me park and was told that there was a missle test scheduled and that the highway would be closed for at least another hour. A missle?!?! I guess they don't want anybody driving along Rt. 70 and being struck by any miscellanous debris.

But I thought it was pretty cool. I've never been stopped for a missle before. Of course the worst part was that it held me up so long that by the time I got to Phoenix, I hit rush hour. I had specifically left Roswell at 6:00am so that I would hit no traffic. Best laid plans, eh? So what should of been a 9 1/2 hour drive turned into about 12. Not that big of a deal...and, I got to see a missle explode in the New Mexico sky. Yatzee!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Ka-Ching!

Good Wednesday friends. I don't have a whole lot of time this morning to post much, but I wanted to let y'all know that I will not be able to post for the next few days. No worries though, I'll be back to you next week.

Since I get off for President's Day and I don't have a class to teach until Tuesday evening, I decided this was a good time to take a road trip. So, I called Dr. Danny out in Scottsdale, Arizona and made plans for a visit.

I'll be driving out there tomorrow and then we'll hit Vegas Saturday and Sunday. Then back to Arizona until Tuesday. Wish me luck. If I hit the jackpot for big bucks out there I will share some of my winnings with anyone who responds to this post (except spammers and that kind of thing). See ya all soon. D.W.

Monday, February 13, 2006

It's your gang, Billy


Billy The Kid, William H. Bonney, William Antrim, who knows? One thing is for certain, Billy is part of a great mythology about the wild west. This weekend, I had the opportunity to head on down to Lincoln County, Nm with Doc Bender and take a look at one museum dedicated to the kid.

When pulling into Lincoln, one can only think that they have wasted their time. It's a one street town. No traffic light, no stop sign, just one stretch of highway 49 that is about as long as the street you live on. So, needless to say, I thought I was in for a yawner...a quick yawner, but a yawner still. Luckily, this was only stop number one of a planned three stop day.

What I found though was surprising. While it is true that there is not alot to see out there in Lincoln, what they did provide was interesting and educational. It's definitely a "stop by if your heading that direction anyway" kind of place. I thought I knew about as much as I needed to about Billy, but I quickly realized that a few minutes in the history books in grade school and a familiarity with "Young Guns" part one and two, were not enough to get a full grasp. Anyway...I won't bore you be giving y'all a history lesson here, but I just figured I share.

BTW....When going to any historical site, I strongly recommend taking your resident history expert with you. It's much better then just reading the signs! Gettysburg with Ed and Scott and now Lincoln County with Doc Bender...you just don't get more informed then that!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Where have all the good shows gone?


Well....since it has been more then a week since anybody has posted a response, I feel justified to write about something totally inane today.

This morning as I was waiting around to go to work, I caught an episode of Magnum, p.i. I had not seen before. This is not unusual since I never watched the show when it aired. But I have to tell you, I love that show now!

I'm not the biggest T.V. viewer these days. Don't get me wrong, I have the telly on quite often, but it is usually sports or news or one of the few shows I am hooked on (basically Sci-Fi Fridays, Numbers, Penn and Teller and Boondocks). It seems to me there just isn't anything really worth while out there. I loved the show Rome on HBO and definitely will que it up next season, but I have not been able to get myself into "The Sopranos" or "Deadwood". I can't get into any reality T.V. shows either and I have tried to catch on to other popular shows people tell me I have to see, but with no real success.

Instead, I look for old re-runs of shows from yesteryear; shows that I might have seen before or have seen a few. Like Magnum. I will watch Magnum any time it's on. I also look out for shows like: Banacek (With George Peppard), Poirot, Columbo, Berreta, What's Happening?, Sanford and Son, Good Times, Taxi, and WKRP. T.V. just taint what it used to be.

Please tell me I am wrong. I would love to hear some suggestions telling me what Tivo should save for me.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Everybody has a price...


Right?


I'm teaching Marlowe's "Faustus" this week and started to really think about what it would be like to sell one's soul. Of course you have to believe that there is such a thing as a soul to begin with or the whole thing is off. That was the good doctor's initial thought though. No such thing as devils and demons, so why not sell your soul. If you don't believe in Hell then you obviously can't end up there.

Now when good old Mephistopheles shows up, you'd think Faustus would change his tune, but of course he does not and our story begins.

If I had a soul (or a brain), would I sell it? And what would be my price? What would you need to get in return for your soul? Think about it. The human body is said to, on average, be worth about 80,000 buckaroos (your skin, about 4 bucks). That's a lot of payola, and that's just for your physical essence. You know, the part that only lasts about 70 some odd years. On the black market, your body would be worth a whole lot more. You could probably get 80,000 easy just for a kidney! But what about your soul; that part of you that is supposed to go for eternity? Eternity is a really long time...plus 1! I mean, you can't even multiply the value by the year; it still comes up infinity! So how do we go about valuing our soul? And is everybody's soul of equal value? Well, I have come up with some suggestions:

1. The concept of value is an interesting thing. Moliere said simply enough, "Things only have the value that we give them." So if you know what you want for your soul, my suggestion is to sell it on e-bay. Put a good starting price on it. It might be worth more than you think. And on e-bay, you are assured that you won't get less then your initial asking price. Though I have to tell you, souls just aren't selling like you'd think over there...unconditional Human Soul...only up to about 75 bucks as of today. Another goof is selling her soul, but with much less success...only 5 bucks so far. Going back to Moliere, I would suggest assigning a much higher value than these palookas did. We all know that people think things are better when they cost more. Don't low-ball your soul for God's sake (or even the devils!)!

2. If e-bay isn't your style, I would suggest leasing your soul for a while. Get your soul out there and see how it does with somebody else for a few years. After that you can decide if you can go on without it for eternity. Worse thing that happens is that you are like 85% of the rest of the world and you go around soulless for a few years.

3. If you absolutely need to sell your soul, try selling it to somebody good first. There is no rule that says you have to sell it to the devil. We all just assume that's what we mean when we contemplate this big step in our lives. Try selling it to somebody you know who has a good heart!

4. If you are more concerned with the quality of life your soul will have, screw the "big heart" garbage and sell your soul to somebody rich. That way, you get the best of both worlds. You can score some great quick cash, and your soul goes to someone with enough money to take good care of it. Just watch out...some of those billionaires out there could be the devil in disguise.

5. Last, don't sell your soul when you are desperate. That's the worst time to get optimal value. People tend to sell their souls when they are in a bind and get almost nothing for it: a couple of bucks to get you through the week, 100 bucks so Billy the Brute don't cut you up on Friday, spare change... Be smart and sell your soul when the market is right and it will be a much more worthwhile endeavor.

Me, I'm having a hard enough time not selling my soul for a bookstore, coffee shop, or good slice of pizza!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Steeler Time!


Well...I felt an obligation to write a little bit about the SuperBowl today. First let me send congrats to all of my Pittsburgh loving fans. They can be just as much pains in the butts as Dallas fans when they win, but win they did.

If you watched the same game I did, you saw nothing of real interest unless you are a Steeler fan. I had fun with the friends I watched it with, but besides that, kinda ho-hum. The Seahawks looked like they could have made a game on it, but they shot themselves in the foot more times then Don Knotts did on Andy Griffith's show.

And...the commercials kinda sucked too. Plus...did you see the national anthem?? Horrible...Areatha (I ate my children) Franklin and Aaron (so that's how steriods can affect your manhood) Neville gave one of the worst renditions ever! And I know some of you are Stones fans, but isn't it time for them to just go away? Horrible.

Anyway...congrats Steelers...go Flyers...and come on Phillies!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Evil gets back to work...


So here we are. I never like writing politics; I don't know a whole lot about what is going on. Don't get me wrong. I watch the news and read the paper and keep up with what is happening here and abroad, but I don't know much about it. Call me ignorant (
you're ignorant), but I truly believe that there are a handful of people in the world who actually do know what is going on, and I am certainly not one of them. I have my opinions about everything, but, without the necessary information, how can I give them and add any insight? I simply know I don't know...and that my friends, can be a pretty frustrating world to be in.

That being said, I really hope to aggravate some of you the way I have been aggravated recently. If I could represent the sound of regurgitation well enough that it would make your stomach turn when you read it, trust me, this entry today would be covered in puke. Let me explain. Disclaimer...I meant what I said above. The following is not in support or against any political party or agenda. If you ask me, Democrat, Republican, it all brings up the same puke noise and distaste in my stomach.

I was watching the news after the president's talk last night. It was CNN and specifically, Wolf Blitzer (whose mere voice tears at the inner fiber of my being). He was showing the results of a poll that was taken after the address. Maybe you saw it. The poll is to determine people's reaction to the address as either positive, negative or undecided. Blitzer said at least 5 if not more times to remember that the only people who took part in the poll were people who actually watched the speech and that those who didn't watch were not represented. His claim was that most of the people who watched were Bush supporters and that the number would reflect that. Here's what bothered me. The poll was a poll designed to rate the address.
Of course the respondents were people who heard the speech!!! How else could they be polled to rate it!?!? Oh....my....god!! I was so pissed off I could hardly contain myself (hence the rant).

Then they bring out the minority leader for the democratic party. She was interviewed by Anderson Cooper, who for some reason, even though he looks like a spoiled brat that need to get beat up on the playground, I actually like. But, the interview was revolting. Do they bring these people on so that we hate them all. When John McCain gets on the tube and says we all have to learn to get along...when John McCain is the only one in the world making sense...that's when I turn the cartoon network back on and look for an episode of the Boondocks (which btw has been getting bad press lately, especially from genius Al Sharpton),

Okay...last...the evil count was surprisingly low last night. I believe Gorgy-boy only mentioned the Big E twice:

"
But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil." (so when Evil knocks upon your door...just say no!!)
and...

"
We are the Nation that saved liberty in Europe, and liberated death camps, and helped raise up democracies, and faced down an evil empire." (Oh yeah...the death star...well remember...the evil empire will strike back!)

Okay...I can't keep going. How do you political types keep going day after day, writing pages and pages on this sickening garbage!?!? Turn on some wrastling instead...you'll be much happier. There are guys there who are bad guys and know it. They do evil because they like it; they twist their Rollie Fingers mustaches and tie the girl to the train tracks. And I love them for it.